What's Her Secret? It's All the Same Bra! (aka, Bras: You Buy Them, I Blog about Them)

Dear Caroline,

You're not much of a bra shopper I don't think, but I went into Victoria's Secret for the first time in a few years and they are literally selling ONE KIND OF BRA. It is a padded pushup bra, in about 40 different colors and THAT IS IT! I am not exaggerating. Caroline, please discuss and, if possible, explain.

- Pondering the Pushup

Dear Pondering,

You're correct when you note that I am not much of a bra shopper. Furthermore, I do not own one single under-wire bra because there's not a need. But I feel for my buxom betties and can share the following story with you.

Way back when I started wearing a bra, Victoria's Secret was truly the be-all, end-all of bra shopping. I remember a bright pink lace push-up/demi-cup number I ordered from the catalog that I proudly wore until the elastic was stretched way thin. That was when they still sold bras in A cup sizes. Fast forward to around freshman or junior year in college and I was in the store, trying on bras and convincing myself I could find one that worked for me. I finally settled on a purple satinesque under-wire job. But apparently I hadn't really looked closely at the size because once I brought that number home and ripped off all the tags, I realized I had purchased a C cup size.

Had I convinced myself it was the right size? Were there trick mirrors in the store that made me think I was a size C? Was the sizing all kinds of wrong to convince young women they are "sexy" because their knockers are bigger than they really are? Needless to say I was ashamed and pissed!

That was the last purchase I made at VS until last year when I visited EK in DC. We were strolling around the Georgetown area and she mentioned she needed some bras. So I traipsed in there with her just to be totally horrified by the merchandise. Everything is scantily constructed, there are a bunch of potions and lotions everywhere and it's all aimed at what I guess to be a 12 to 23 year-old age range.

The moral of this story? We are not the target audience of VS, my dear Pondering. I mean, have you seen those nutty "fashion shows" of theirs with the models and the wings? What the?!

Maybe all VS bras are the same, I can't say for sure, but I can tell you the cotton underwear still does me right (I bought some that day in DC). Still, my true love for all things underneath is Calvin Klein. Finally, my well-stacked sisters tell me the Elle Macpherson bra is where it's at.